Happy New Year everybody! I wish you the best in 2012.
About a year and a half ago I started this blog. I wanted to get some stuff off my chest and just talking about it wasn't cutting it. I was at a point in my life were things weren't going the way I planned it. My job sucked, my alcohol and drug use were out of control, and the relationships with the people closest to me were stressed out or non-existent. I was tired of life around me and just wanted to walk away. So I started to write this blog. Things started to make sense. I was able to go back and read my words and I started to see a change in my behavior. The things I learned, is that life is not my motion picture to direct. I can never be a director of my own movie and also hope to star in it. Life doesn't work that way. The only thing I can be responsible for is my own actions. That was a tough pill to swallow.
So in July of 2011 I made a conscience effort to be sober. No more alcohol and drugs to alter my mind and personality. It was tough at first but I learned that life has so much more to offer when I am not out chasing a high. Earlier in the same year I also decided to leave the place I was working and to start working with someone I looked up to with great respect. Making those two choices allowed me to focus my energy of growing in my personal life. To have the love of a partner is something that is sought by many and obtained by few . I have that and it is my oppotunity to embrace it and grow together. I am not perfect and for fucking god's sake I hope I never am. My life is just that, mine, and I hope that 2012 brings more happiness, more roadblocks to conquer, and new goals to focus upon. So again I wish anyone who takes the time to read this the very best of luck to you in this new year approaching .
Firstly, I want to state that canes or any other walking apparatus that resembles a cane is only "cool" when you don't have to use it. That being said some days I look like an old man and on other days I look like a street hardened pimp looking for my next dollar. It all depends on my dress. I have moved up from crutches to a walking cane about two weeks ago. I feel like I am starting to get this old life back. I can get around a lot better and I am able to do things like cook and carry my own plate. That doesn't sound like a lot but when you have a choice between eating over a sink and having to ask someone to carry your plate it starts to get frustrating . My doctor said I have come a long ways and the physical therapy I have been doing has shown. That being said I still am a long ways off from running, jumping, and the occasional flip off a diving board. But remember life is about progress, and I feel like I have made a lot of that. No one was against me during this process but a lot of people doubted I would be back at it so fast. They said I would walk for six months. But hey when you ain't got kids, a mortgage, and no car payment, you got some time to get better. I couldn't have done it without Jamee "Jimmy" Sims, but we don't have to tell her that cause she'll just read it in this blog. Watch out World!
