I just want to look like I play Golf

I am the worst golfer ever. Maybe in the history of the world. When I need to hit it straight it goes right and when I am nearing water my ball is attracted to getting wet . I used to consider myself hopeless in the game of golf but I have finally found my calling. Instead of practicing and being a good golfer I am going for "Looking" like a great golfer . I have thrown out going to the practice range and searching for professional help. It's a waste of time any money. Anyone can hit a golf ball down a wide open space. And anyone can let a club pro jerk them off for $150 an hour. I believe golf is one of those games where you just have to play and play as much as you can.

So my mission is to look like a good golfer. I had my old clubs gripped with bright red.  I hit the clearance clothes racks at Haggin Oaks and Golf Galaxy for the goofiest golf shit. I made sure that my shoes match my belt and match my hat too. I do that anyway, but when I match, people think you know what you're talking about . I also found a great deal on some legit golf balls that have been barely touched . I should have gotten my name slapped on them but that will be my next move.
The next step to looking like a good to great golfer is speed of play. Like I said before I don't hit the driving range. I only have so many good shots in me and I ain't trying to waste them on the driving range. When it is my turn to hit, I'm ready. I don't take thirty practice swings and I don't have to make sure my ball is in the perfect place. I will pick my ball up in front of everyone and better my position. Golf is war and there are no rules in war.

When I put all these things together I pretty much look like I am coming off the tour. That is until I hit the ball . Then you realize that I am just some sack trying to act like I play .

One Of The Best Weekends Ever

             

I had a good one this weekend. Actually I had a great one. I couldn’t have asked for a better three days. Nothing compares to a great weekend that requires minimal planning. It started on Friday as I exited work early. Normally I am a certified workaholic. It takes a lot to pull me from my desk. I am addicted to getting a commission check and making our clients happy. But Friday was a half day for me because I had some big plans to take care of.

Firstly I had set up some concert tickets to see one of my favorite bands Matt and Kim at The Fox Theater in Oakland. My lady and I had planned to drive down to Oakland on Friday and stay at The Waterfront Hotel at Jack London Square. I know when most people think about Oakland, not too many kind words come to mind. But we were pleasantly surprised at the kindness Oakland showed us while we were visiting. The Waterfront was a beautiful but dated hotel overlooking the Bay and Marina. The service was excellent and our room had a great view. The room had a sea theme, and rightly so, since we literally were perched over the marina.  After resting in the room for a few we went and had dinner at Miss Pearl’s restaurant. It was a southern seafood inspired restaurant.  We met the chef Eddie Blyden and to say he was a nice man was an understatement. The original version of the restaurant was a San Francisco staple thirty years ago and it has since moved on to Oakland. The food was good, the service was great, and the bread pudding was amazing. After dinner we got ready and took a ride downtown to The Fox Theater. The Theater was beautifully decorated. This was my first time at the venue but it will not be my last. I got us some seats in the balcony because I don’t do the standing room only thing at concerts. I want a safety nest to return to if things get wild in the crowd. We had some great seats in the Loge area which was in front on the general balcony seating. Matt and Kim put on a great show and Jamee and I were super impressed by their high energy and crowd engaging act. Matt can sing and play keyboard but Kim can sure play some drums. She was amazing.  After the show we literally walked out of the venue and hopped immediately into a cab and were back in our hotel room within ten minutes and tucked away in bed.

The next morning the sun was blasting through our balcony. Someone was telling us it’s time to get up. I ordered a pretty stunning room service smorgasbord of food and we decided to eat overlooking the water. We are pretty lucky just to be able to enjoy each other’s time with a great view. After breakfast we got ready and said our goodbyes to Oakland. We proceeded back towards Berkeley and made a stop at Golden Gate Fields. Horse racing is my game of choice. You can keep table games, slot machines and all other sports bets. Horse racing is where it’s at. I think in another life I may have been a dogfighting or cockfighting fan but nowadays I will stick to horse racing. My girl is a horse racing fan too and ever since we hit a trifecta on the Kentucky Derby she has been hooked. I reserved us a box and we hung out for about 6 races before we hit the road home. I didn’t win any money but after last week’s trip and winning about 600 buck I didn’t mind breaking even. When we got back to Sacramento on Saturday we sat down to witness the SF Giants take it to the Tigers in game three of the World Series. It was one of the best games I have seen and it was a prelude to witnessing them clinching it the next night.

On Sunday I woke up early and hit the links at Cherry Island. It is a tough course and I was playing against my golfing arch nemesis Steve Lanterman . He usually beats me but today I finally got the up on him during the back nine and I never let off. The course is one of those that play with your ego. You can go for the legendary shot or you can play it safe and set yourself up for the next shot. I can’t hit that far so even when I am going for it all it looks like I am going for the safe play. After golf I went back to home base and proceeded to nap for the remainder of the day until the SF Giants Game was on. We witnessed the Giants winning their 2^nd World Series in 3 years. The game was fun to watch and included the usual torture that a Giants game brings to your stomach. After watching Sergio Romo strike out the greatest hitter over the last 40 years and win the game and the World Series it was officially an end to a magnificent weekend  

I am back for the meantime

Work is a mother . I mean I never have enough time in the day. People want this and employees want that. I want to tell them to "Fuck Off" but I always think one day I might need their help so I should keep my comments light. Or even worse, one day, they might be my boss and remember when I treated them like garbage and dedicate their life to ruining mine.
I like working. I should say I love working but that would be silly. I can't not be employed. If I got fired today i would have a job tomorrow morning by 8am . It's always been that way. I was once unemployed for three months about 7 years ago and I wanted to blow my brains out . Because the only thing worse than getting paid like shit is not getting paid at all .
There isn't really anything I wont do for a good paycheck. Five years ago I would have done a lot more for money but I have come to my senses over the last few years. Back then I would have robbed, stole, and lied for 5k a month. I have come to realize selling your soul isn't worth the cost of one good month. It's about 2013 and not October 2012.

And not to overuse the quote of the almost famous rapper Vitamin P "Get your mind right and get your grind right"