The Art of Sing Fighting

I have never claimed to be the creator or inventor of anything . I have never made a discovery that will change the course of human intelligence . I can say that my girl and I are innovators and we have perfected the art of Sing Fighting. Or also know as Sing Arguing .

   What is Sing Fighting you ask? It is the act of critiquing, or proving a strong point through song that might otherwise be taken offensively if it was simply spoken. Singing and music have alleviated stress and brought joy to people for thousands of years. So when enlightening someone close to you with a topic that may come off as intrusive it may be in better taste to sing the request to them . Whether that be their current cleaning abilities or perhaps simply there current outlook on life . When tackling sensitive subjects it may just be easier to belt them out in song to your partner or close friends.

      Not everyone takes to Sing Fighting immediately . It takes two or more parties to be in a solid sing fighting contest. Just one person involved typically means you are singing songs to yourself which can come off as strange or slightly schizophrenic . You need to practice regularly. As well placed lyric in a Sing Fighting contest can make all the difference. And the power of song can be much more powerful than immediately telling someone they are a true train wreck .

     As an avid Sing Fighter I can tell you that the ability to tell my lady what is on my mind has increased ten fold. I am no longer afraid to tell the woman I love that she is being a baby or she may need to fold my clothes a little quicker next time she does laundry. As long as these requests are made through song I am confident that I will no longer be sleeping on the couch for erroneous non-rhythmic comments .

Please take my advice and truly give Sing Fighting as chance to make close relationships even closer.  

Why do people write blogs?

Why do all these people around the world write blogs? Chances are you can't talk about what you want in your current surroundings. Maybe you are a kid confused about the world and every time you open your mouth someone tells you to "shut it"? Maybe you're a girl whose fashion sense is depressing at best and you want to find others that dress or look like you? Or maybe your a guy whose sense of the world can sometimes only be put into words cause if he went around saying that shit in public people would think he is crazy. I think I fall under the last one. I feel like I have so much to say and so little time to do it.  But after awhile a human being can only talk so much before you have to start putting it in writing . People don't want to just hear words.  If you just keep talking one day someone is going to ask you to stop. But people are so insane nowadays that you never know someones version of "stop". It could be a bullet.

I write a blog cause I feel that when I sit down and think about what I am writing it comes out straight to the point and easily interpreted. I wish everything was just like that. And than it hit me. That is why people do this venting on social media. It is the way I want it. That is the goal in this huge thing called Life. To make it the way you want it . To make it acceptable by you. For you to allow others to critique, make fun, or just plain ignore you words , but at the same time knowing they can look whenever they want . So on that note I am in full support of all you bloggers out there no matter how bad your shit sucks. At least you're at the comfort of your computer screen for the time being and not in the trenches of the real world .

Attack of the Hairy Back

I have a bald spot on the top of my head the size of a small plate . I reserve the right to only wear double extra large white shirts . I have an uncontrollable vice of drinking light beers and smoking cigarettes. All these traits are shared by millions of others in the world. But I also belong to a very secret and mysteriously club that rarely speaks in public and often stays out of the water without proper care. That's right I am the carrier and silent leader of the Hairy Back Club.

The first step to being in the club is admitting it . You can't hide from it. It follows you around wherever you go. It doesn't matter the hair color, or the age group. Once you are in , chances are you are in for life . I will offer a few tips that can make your entry into the club smooth and possibly pain free. Here goes!

1. You have a few ways you can go about getting the hair off your back. I recommend using electric clippers. I am not some LA model so I like a little fuzz. You could wax it off but make sure someone kicks you in the balls first to dull the pain . I don't recommend laser treatment cause it's very expensive.

2. No matter how flexible you are you can't do it yourself. You need someone on your side. You must befriend either a fellow Hairy Back member or ask your girlfriend really nicely .

3. I recommend shaving it at least every two months. That way you can keep your back hair looking short and manageable.

4. Don't ever be embarrassed by what you go going on on your back. You're a man and it goes with the territory.

5. Girls may make silly comments, but lets face it, they shave their butt holes, pluck their facial hair, and bleeds from their vagina once a month. They have very limited room to talk.

The bottom line is don't let your hairy back stop you from enjoying your summer. That would be silly .