This one is for you Mike S

                      So I was approached by one of my best buds the other day as to why I have a blog and put all of this out there into the world.  It took me a second, actually a day as to why I do what I do. Part of me wants to scream at the top of my lungs " I am more than what you see!"  What I mean by that is I have a million thoughts racing through my tiny brain all day. How I could be better, do more, do less, be a part of the problem, the solution, the idea or the destruction of one . So many characters I want to play and so little time to do it . I sure I could be diagnosed as having ADHD but what fun would that be?  Who wants to know the answers to yourself in medical terms?  First and foremost, I am a dad and a partner now. I do not move in a group of one and I can't think of just myself .
          Believe me every once in a I remember when I was a single guy living off the land and scrounging for something warm to eat and wondering if I had time to do the laundry or get one more wear out of something . But writing and talking about my feeling does bring me back to those times. I am free to write whatever I want and whatever I am thinking . That is just enough for me nowadays . And when I say talk about my feeling I don't mean "my dad died and I never got to be in a rock band". What I do mean is I am getting older and wiser, hopefully, and this is what I see and feel. Believe me, the world doesn't need another person crying about their problems to the masses.
      So I guess the only way to answer my friend on as to why I write what I write is it keeps me sane and in turn maybe the people around me. I am quick to pull the trigger with my words and every once in a while I find solace in writing them done instead of blabbing them to anyone that will listen. Writing this gives me a chance to reflect and allows someone else to check it out at there own pace . And on that note I am outta here. Until next time.......

Please call Bigfoot by their proper name, Homo Sapiens Cognatus

The Best Christmas Ever !!!

             I admit. I am a follower. I follow anything related to the legend known as Bigfoot. I've read all the books which is usually regurgitated info that I read years before . I look at every website I can find but most don't have consistently updating info. A few do like Bigfoot Evidence and The Bigfoot Field Journal . Another site that adds Bigfoot contemporary information with a little gossip is Robert Lindsay's blog Beyond Highbrow. Either of these sites will fill you with hours on entertainment and information.  I try and watch as many videos as I can, but once you have seen all the good ones, you'll know the difference. I follow my favorites Bigfoot researchers on Facebook and read all their updates. I have started listening to Podcast but I feel almost dirty listening to another man talk into a microphone from the privacy of his own home. Luckily, there I can hear the voices behind the names and get a real feeling for what they witness. To this day I try never to miss a JC Johnson interview. Either that man is a real life monster hunter or he may be the greatest storyteller that ever lived. I am leaning in favor of the monster hunter. I am what they call an "Armchair Researcher". Remember that name. I don't go out in the woods, go on expeditions, or even go on a mere hike. I am not trying to dirty my Chucks and White V-neck. I am a city boy who cares deeply for my Forest People. The Bigfoot world needs us. Why else would this all be so accessible on the web? Without support of the common man, Bigfoot is just a story. Body or not. I guess you could say I am obsessed.

           But when I go onto the Internet I am reading up on Bigfoot. Maybe an occasional world event here and there but for the most part it's Bigfoot. What's new, what's not, what is fake and what has the potential to be true?  I have never not believed they were real , I just didn't know what it was. The biggest problem with believing in Bigfoot is the public doesn't know how it relates to them. Selfish but very human. If Bigfoot is real what does that mean about Jesus, Mohammad, Buddha, and the rest of the gang? I guess it puts everything we know into question?

                      That's not a big deal to be Bigfoots' biggest fan is it? I have a great job, a roof over my head, a loving woman and a perfect little newborn baby. I have much more than most. But I can't even stop talking when someone eggs me on about discussing Bigfoot. Am I childish for doing so? Am I a sucker to their cause?  It usually starts with "How much time do you have to discuss the topic of Bigfoot?" Cause truthfully it's an all day discussion. If you want the straight up of what I think that could run us an hour of so. I mean, you are talking about a living direct link to our ancestry!!! So out of respect they deserve at least two hours of discussing. That would give us enough time to discuss what it is, where it lives, and who are the major players. This isn't to be taken lightly people!




Dennis Pfohl, Adrian Erickson, and Melba Ketchum

    It is known to grow to height of over ten feet . It could weigh over a thousand pounds in some cases. They have family units like you and I. They have been around us all along for thousands of years. It's speed and overall stealth is unmatched compared to any man. The forest is just like our living rooms. if something was missing they would know. It's the top predator in North America besides it's city dwelling brother also known as the common man. They come in many different colors and with many different physical traits. Much like ourselves . And today they released its Binomial Nomenclature with ZooBank  . The research group associated with Melba Ketchum released 3 whole genomes of Bigfoot aka Homo Sapiens Cognatus. Cognatus meaning related to the mother by blood . The research suggested that sometime 13,000 years ago a female human being mated with something that wasn't 100% like us . What that created was the ancestor known as Bigfoot. Just understanding that part could take a lifetime.

So here I am . Confused, baffled, and a little excited that my beliefs are now backed up by science. What next ? For years I have had to use words like " what if" , "maybe" or "the possibility" . Am I free now to talk amongst civilized humans about the Hominid known as Bigfoot. Probably not, but  has that ever stopped us before?


 

The Best Part of Being a Dad

           The best part of being a Dad is easy. I mean look past the absolute joy of having a little person matched in your likeness cause that is amazing in itself. And look past the fact that your lady is an amazing human being just for sacrificing her body to make sure your baby is healthy  .

The best part of being a father is I don't have to listen to shit you say! Nothing . Your words or personal rules have nothing to do with me . Your opinions mean zero. The only thing I am responsible for is taking care of my lady and our baby. That's it! I mean sure that entails a ton of stuff but in some weird way it almost makes it easier. Caveman style I would like to call it. As long as mammoth meat is on the table and we are clothed in the freshest deer skins we are going to be alright.   I am not concerned with being left out of a golf trip, missing a night with the boys, or subscribing to the coolest new fad. I am over it. Right now knowing that our little cherub is safe and obviously well fed is enough for this guy . Knowing she isn't crying(that much) and is comfortable is the best! I never thought in a million years that this selfish guy would be preaching those words. But I am. Whether you have kids or not, guess what? I don't care. Whether you think that we are poor parents and don't deserve to be in this position you can suck it ! We couldn't be more blessed and thankful for our situation but literally nothing you say to me even matters that much. So on that note get out there today and take what's yours!  

One Year Without The Drink

Firstly, I want to state if you can drink and do drugs all day and night than do it. Not more, but the most power to you. I commend your drive and desire. I just couldn't take being one person at night and than someone else the next day. I know I am not the only one that feels this way but at the time I did. I wasn't acting fake. I was just lost.  It was tiring, frustrating, and financially bankrupting to keep doing what I was doing .  I have just completed over a year of not drinking or doing any hard drugs. That means no Friday night meet ups with the boys or late night calls to the dope man to score a bag. Usually they were one in the same.  How do I feel? Well life still goes on but today I can most definitely handle what is on the horizon. It's not always good or bad but I know that I can get through it. I have a feeling of inner worth knowing that I have the life skills to make my own decisions . I am okay doing things on my own now as I used to be fearful making decisions alone. I know, what a pussy.

  I will admit that I never stopped smoking marijuana . This blog isn't about me justifying my life to anyone except God or whomever the higher being is up there in the sky .  Do some people think marijuana is bad? I am sure they are out there but I know what works for me. I keep the smoking quiet unless someone asks me, but for the most part I am always down for a good puff.

Now here in lies the debate. I go to Alcoholics Anonymous . I am an alcoholic because without drinking I don't desire to do half the shit I would do being drunk. This includes talking too much, spending too much, and pretending too much.   I participate in the meetings . I would never sponsor anyone unless I was completely "sober". Those are the rules. I get a lot out of the program. For instance you can share and laugh within the meetings. I am with people that feel like I do. I would never take away from the benefit of AA, but I can't always say I follow it 100%. It's free and bases it existence on donations from fellow members. I have met a lot of great people in AA. And without AA I would not be alcohol-free today. My main knock on AA is I don't feel like talking about drugs and alcohol all day long. I wasn't doing that when I was drinking and using so why do I want to talk about it all the time when I am not ? But maybe that is part of the attraction to AA. Most of the time talking about having a problem with alcohol or drugs is a no-no to all the "normal" people out there.

The conclusion to all this is I don't drink and use today. I feel much better. I am in a place that I never though possible one year ago.  I do miss all my old friends that I used to get drunk with. I am sure they are on the same bar stool. That doesn't mean I don't want a huge Pina Colada or the coldest Bud Light in the world. I do, but like anything in life I have to make choices. One choice leads me to confidence and spiritual growth and the other leads to short term highs with really low lows . If you would have asked me ten years ago I would have taken the highs and the lows. But now I just want more . Can you blame me?

Trying it Clean and Sober

     It has been 14 days since I made the choice to be clean and sober . It was a decision that needed to be made. I have spent so many years saying "Yes" to everything and that it has been a complete change to now say "No" .  I have been going pretty hard for the last 15 years. Alcohol, Weed , and Cocaine have been a major factor in my life for all those years. Some more than others but they all play the same role. They allow me to think that I'm God and in control of any and every situation .

     But life is funny that way. I am but a mere grain of sand in this enormous world. Just a small piece of this creative intelligence we call earth. God has played a huge roll in this ability for me to change . Now this isn't the God that used to scare me in Catholic Class . This is  "God" as I know it. Something much bigger and more powerful than  I can ever imagine . I will let him guide me. I am no longer afraid of the road but

    Now I am not a sucker by any means. I understand that anything good is worth putting in work and time . Anyone can say they are going to stop drinking. But it is the time after that matters. Living a good life and trying to be sober is my goal. I am excited for the future and completing the goals that I set forth. I used to just talk about what I was going . It was a waste but just having a fighting chance now is something i truly cherish.

If you know someone that may want the help of A.A. please click on the link and check it out. They are all over the world and you can most likely and ready to help anyone whom wants to stop drinking .

Central California Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous 

Why do people write blogs?

Why do all these people around the world write blogs? Chances are you can't talk about what you want in your current surroundings. Maybe you are a kid confused about the world and every time you open your mouth someone tells you to "shut it"? Maybe you're a girl whose fashion sense is depressing at best and you want to find others that dress or look like you? Or maybe your a guy whose sense of the world can sometimes only be put into words cause if he went around saying that shit in public people would think he is crazy. I think I fall under the last one. I feel like I have so much to say and so little time to do it.  But after awhile a human being can only talk so much before you have to start putting it in writing . People don't want to just hear words.  If you just keep talking one day someone is going to ask you to stop. But people are so insane nowadays that you never know someones version of "stop". It could be a bullet.

I write a blog cause I feel that when I sit down and think about what I am writing it comes out straight to the point and easily interpreted. I wish everything was just like that. And than it hit me. That is why people do this venting on social media. It is the way I want it. That is the goal in this huge thing called Life. To make it the way you want it . To make it acceptable by you. For you to allow others to critique, make fun, or just plain ignore you words , but at the same time knowing they can look whenever they want . So on that note I am in full support of all you bloggers out there no matter how bad your shit sucks. At least you're at the comfort of your computer screen for the time being and not in the trenches of the real world .