This one is for you Mike S

                      So I was approached by one of my best buds the other day as to why I have a blog and put all of this out there into the world.  It took me a second, actually a day as to why I do what I do. Part of me wants to scream at the top of my lungs " I am more than what you see!"  What I mean by that is I have a million thoughts racing through my tiny brain all day. How I could be better, do more, do less, be a part of the problem, the solution, the idea or the destruction of one . So many characters I want to play and so little time to do it . I sure I could be diagnosed as having ADHD but what fun would that be?  Who wants to know the answers to yourself in medical terms?  First and foremost, I am a dad and a partner now. I do not move in a group of one and I can't think of just myself .
          Believe me every once in a I remember when I was a single guy living off the land and scrounging for something warm to eat and wondering if I had time to do the laundry or get one more wear out of something . But writing and talking about my feeling does bring me back to those times. I am free to write whatever I want and whatever I am thinking . That is just enough for me nowadays . And when I say talk about my feeling I don't mean "my dad died and I never got to be in a rock band". What I do mean is I am getting older and wiser, hopefully, and this is what I see and feel. Believe me, the world doesn't need another person crying about their problems to the masses.
      So I guess the only way to answer my friend on as to why I write what I write is it keeps me sane and in turn maybe the people around me. I am quick to pull the trigger with my words and every once in a while I find solace in writing them done instead of blabbing them to anyone that will listen. Writing this gives me a chance to reflect and allows someone else to check it out at there own pace . And on that note I am outta here. Until next time.......

10 years of what?

Today it will have been 10 years since my father passed away. Sometimes it seems like a world away and other times it feels as if I just saw him yesterday. I miss him a lot but I also understand that a whole lot of him is in me. Therefore when I really miss him I just have to look into myself and I find it comforting .

Joe Marion Villa III was a good man. He had a pretty dry sense of humor and was a fabulous cook. He would bend over backwards for you but he was passionate about making sure you understand how respect and hard work are business partners in a thriving industry called "Life". We had become very close over the years before his death and I will always be thankful for that . He was quick to give you his advice on something but he never got upset when you didn't follow his words. I liked that about him. He didn't judge but he at least had to get out his point before you make a choice.

I know he is up there, here, by a beach, with Fran his wife, watching over my brother , sister, and all the people in our family . I miss you Joey V. But I want to let you know I am doing great , and if I can't see you I can always lead by your examples.

Road Trip Weekend

Hydesville

         I just got back from a great road trip over the weekend . I travelled north from Sacramento to Humboldt County. My main purpose for the trip was to visit my Dad's family and to hit the horse races. My grandma and grandpa live up there as well as my uncle Chris, his wife Patti, and their two boys Payden and Parker .

         First, the weather was amazing. The highs were in the 60's and it was pretty cloudy except for a little sun on Saturday. I was excited for the cool weather because Sacramento has been in the high 90's for the last couple weeks . So it was time to break out the jeans and sweatshirts. I try to plan a trip to Humboldt County at this time every year because it is during the County Fair and the Horse Races. It has to be the biggest weekend for the county and the people watching is spectacular. I had to roll solo this time because my girl was at my sister's bachelor party .



Ferndale Horse Races



        I left on Friday morning and was excited for the sights. It is great to drive away from the big city into the wild. I usually take I-5 to Woodland , Go Highway 16 West through the Capay Valley, Link up to Highway 20 west around Clear Lake , and get hit 101 North and take that all the way to Eureka . I usually give myself 6 hours but I have made it in as little as 4 and a half hours . My plan was to hang out on Friday with my Grandpa Bob and Grandma Lois, and hit the Horse Races and Fair on Saturday with Uncle Chris and his family.

Joe Villa 1968

        Everything went great and when you're not drinking you have a ton of money for betting and fair food. I thought I had tried everything when it comes to fried foods but the Humboldt Fair had a half pound of fried bacon dipped in a brown sugar and mustard sauce. It was one of the most fantastic foods I have ever had the pleasure of consuming. Hanging with my family in Humboldt is like getting the VIP treatment. They know everyone and we had the hookups to it all .

        The best thing about the trip was I met a lady whom went to school with my Dad and she gave me a picture of my pop's senior high school picture. It brought a lot of old memories back and it made me thankful for the time in my life I got to share with him . So I  thankful to everyone that took care of me this weekend and put out the great hospitality. Until we meet again Humboldt !

Tomorrow it will have been 9 years

            On February 2nd 2011 it will be 9 years since my father, Joseph Marion Villa died. He lost the fight to a very rare and aggressive form of cancer called colorless melanoma. I was with him through the entire situation. I can remember the day , shortly after my sister and I had graduated college. She went the four year plan and I took the five year route. My father wanted to wait till we had enjoyed our completion of school before he told us the bad news. That effort on his part, to allow, his children to focus on themselves while he battled alone will forever be stuck in my head. The man always showed so much compassion for others that even though he knew that the cancer he had been stricken with was most likely fatal he kept it to himself for over two months before he told his children.

              Am I upset he waited so long? Maybe a little. Would I give anything to have him here today? Of course. Is this a realistic request or wish to want him back in my life? Probably not, but what true wish is ever realistic? I think about him everyday. Not one day sneaks by that doesn't remind me of something we did together.

A lot has changed since he was alive. I have grown into a man from a young adult and my life has been blessed with the many people whom are a part of it . I haven't found my calling but I have attempted to turn over the rocks of life to find it.  My sister has had the what would have been his first granddaughter, Tyler Trivers. She is to be married in the summer and he would have liked her fiance very much.  My brother has graduated college and trying to start a life on his own . My little brother reminds me so much of our father that we often tease each other when one of us is acting like "Dad". If Joe Villa is looking down on us I want him to know that we are all doing good. Life is a grind and filled with love, hardship, and hope. But he gave us enough knowledge of our surroundings that we are going to be just fine. And being "just fine" sits pretty well with me when I take a look at it all.