This one is for you Mike S

                      So I was approached by one of my best buds the other day as to why I have a blog and put all of this out there into the world.  It took me a second, actually a day as to why I do what I do. Part of me wants to scream at the top of my lungs " I am more than what you see!"  What I mean by that is I have a million thoughts racing through my tiny brain all day. How I could be better, do more, do less, be a part of the problem, the solution, the idea or the destruction of one . So many characters I want to play and so little time to do it . I sure I could be diagnosed as having ADHD but what fun would that be?  Who wants to know the answers to yourself in medical terms?  First and foremost, I am a dad and a partner now. I do not move in a group of one and I can't think of just myself .
          Believe me every once in a I remember when I was a single guy living off the land and scrounging for something warm to eat and wondering if I had time to do the laundry or get one more wear out of something . But writing and talking about my feeling does bring me back to those times. I am free to write whatever I want and whatever I am thinking . That is just enough for me nowadays . And when I say talk about my feeling I don't mean "my dad died and I never got to be in a rock band". What I do mean is I am getting older and wiser, hopefully, and this is what I see and feel. Believe me, the world doesn't need another person crying about their problems to the masses.
      So I guess the only way to answer my friend on as to why I write what I write is it keeps me sane and in turn maybe the people around me. I am quick to pull the trigger with my words and every once in a while I find solace in writing them done instead of blabbing them to anyone that will listen. Writing this gives me a chance to reflect and allows someone else to check it out at there own pace . And on that note I am outta here. Until next time.......

It's Time For Bigfoot

I posted this information to show that Bigfoot is here to stay!

Press Release FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE ‘BIGFOOT’ DNA SEQUENCED IN UPCOMING GENETICS STUDY Five-Year Genome Study Yields Evidence of Homo sapiens/Unknown Hominin Hybrid Species in North America Contact: Robin Lynne, media@dnadiagnostics.com, 231.622.5362 DALLAS, Nov. 24--A team of scientists can verify that their 5-year long DNA study, currently under peer-review, confirms the existence of a novel hominin hybrid species, commonly called “Bigfoot” or “Sasquatch,” living in North America. Researchers’ extensive DNA sequencing suggests that the legendary Sasquatch is a human relative that arose approximately 15,000 years ago as a hybrid cross of modern Homo sapiens with an unknown primate species. The study was conducted by a team of experts in genetics, forensics, imaging and pathology, led by Dr. Melba S. Ketchum of Nacogdoches, TX. In response to recent interest in the study, Dr. Ketchum can confirm that her team has sequenced 3 complete Sasquatch nuclear genomes and determined the species is a human hybrid: “Our study has sequenced 20 whole mitochondrial genomes and utilized next generation sequencing to obtain 3 whole nuclear genomes from purported Sasquatch samples. The genome sequencing shows that Sasquatch mtDNA is identical to modern Homo sapiens, but Sasquatch nuDNA is a novel, unknown hominin related to Homo sapiens and other primate species. Our data indicate that the North American Sasquatch is a hybrid species, the result of males of an unknown hominin species crossing with female Homo sapiens. Hominins are members of the taxonomic grouping Hominini, which includes all members of the genus Homo. Genetic testing has already ruled out Homo neanderthalis and the Denisova hominin as contributors to Sasquatch mtDNA or nuDNA. “The male progenitor that contributed the unknown sequence to this hybrid is unique as its DNA is more distantly removed from humans than other recently discovered hominins like the Denisovan individual,” explains Ketchum. “Sasquatch nuclear DNA is incredibly novel and not at all what we had expected. While it has human nuclear DNA within its genome, there are also distinctly non-human, non-archaic hominin, and non-ape sequences. We describe it as a mosaic of human and novel non-human sequence. Further study is needed and is ongoing to better characterize and understand Sasquatch nuclear DNA.” Ketchum is a veterinarian whose professional experience includes 27 years of research in genetics, including forensics. Early in her career she also practiced veterinary medicine, and she has previously been published as a participant in mapping the equine genome. She began testing the DNA of purported Sasquatch hair samples 5 years ago. Ketchum calls on public officials and law enforcement to immediately recognize the Sasquatch as an indigenous people: “Genetically, the Sasquatch are a human hybrid with unambiguously modern human maternal ancestry. Government at all levels must recognize them as an indigenous people and immediately protect their human and Constitutional rights against those who would see in their physical and cultural differences a ‘license’ to hunt, trap, or kill them.” Full details of the study will be presented in the near future when the study manuscript publishes. ### Dr. Ketchum is available for interview or to answer further questions about the Sasquatch genome study and associated research on novel contemporary hominins at media@dnadiagnostics.com

I Am Having A Mother Fucking Baby!

It is my one shot to get the title right on this one. I will be honest I don't think their are very many positive statements that have the words "Baby" and "Mother Fucking" in it. But it is the truth. My lady and I are having a baby. The due date is the end of May 2013. To say we are excited is an understatement. To say I am stressed out or nervous is a triple understatement . I am pretty sure I went from a boy to a man overnight when Jamee told .
It's a scary world out there. I used to just have to worry about little ol' me but now I have a partner and a newborn to worry about . I just went from number 1 to 3 on the depth chart in a matter of three years. That is some serious slippage. But it is all worth it. Part of life is dropping the "I" and worrying about the "Us".
My girl and I think about it all day and everyday. We are nearing the end of the 1st trimester . She isn't getting morning sickness as much. She has a small bump and if you look hard enough you can tell.  We told everyone this past weekend via Facebook. Jamee was worried everyone would think she is just gaining a lot weight if we didn't annouce it soon. I feel where she is coming from. She is a tiny little skinny lady.  We should find out the sex of this little nugget around the New Year . At this point I am under the very truthful impression that I can't make enough money and we can truly never be ready. Two things that mess with my internal conscience .
The future is very bright . I mean sun in my eyes "blinding" bright. I am so thankful to be in the place I am . Things didn't feel so bright a few years ago and understanding that change happens within saved my life. Whether God is a man, woman, ball of energy or all of the above he has put a blessing into my life. It is my job to be true to the struggle and raise this monster in the likeness of the culture and traditions I gre up on.

And in case you didn't know I AM HAVING A MOTHER FUCKIGN BABY! And you know it's going to be a girl.

I am back for the meantime

Work is a mother . I mean I never have enough time in the day. People want this and employees want that. I want to tell them to "Fuck Off" but I always think one day I might need their help so I should keep my comments light. Or even worse, one day, they might be my boss and remember when I treated them like garbage and dedicate their life to ruining mine.
I like working. I should say I love working but that would be silly. I can't not be employed. If I got fired today i would have a job tomorrow morning by 8am . It's always been that way. I was once unemployed for three months about 7 years ago and I wanted to blow my brains out . Because the only thing worse than getting paid like shit is not getting paid at all .
There isn't really anything I wont do for a good paycheck. Five years ago I would have done a lot more for money but I have come to my senses over the last few years. Back then I would have robbed, stole, and lied for 5k a month. I have come to realize selling your soul isn't worth the cost of one good month. It's about 2013 and not October 2012.

And not to overuse the quote of the almost famous rapper Vitamin P "Get your mind right and get your grind right"

One Year Without The Drink

Firstly, I want to state if you can drink and do drugs all day and night than do it. Not more, but the most power to you. I commend your drive and desire. I just couldn't take being one person at night and than someone else the next day. I know I am not the only one that feels this way but at the time I did. I wasn't acting fake. I was just lost.  It was tiring, frustrating, and financially bankrupting to keep doing what I was doing .  I have just completed over a year of not drinking or doing any hard drugs. That means no Friday night meet ups with the boys or late night calls to the dope man to score a bag. Usually they were one in the same.  How do I feel? Well life still goes on but today I can most definitely handle what is on the horizon. It's not always good or bad but I know that I can get through it. I have a feeling of inner worth knowing that I have the life skills to make my own decisions . I am okay doing things on my own now as I used to be fearful making decisions alone. I know, what a pussy.

  I will admit that I never stopped smoking marijuana . This blog isn't about me justifying my life to anyone except God or whomever the higher being is up there in the sky .  Do some people think marijuana is bad? I am sure they are out there but I know what works for me. I keep the smoking quiet unless someone asks me, but for the most part I am always down for a good puff.

Now here in lies the debate. I go to Alcoholics Anonymous . I am an alcoholic because without drinking I don't desire to do half the shit I would do being drunk. This includes talking too much, spending too much, and pretending too much.   I participate in the meetings . I would never sponsor anyone unless I was completely "sober". Those are the rules. I get a lot out of the program. For instance you can share and laugh within the meetings. I am with people that feel like I do. I would never take away from the benefit of AA, but I can't always say I follow it 100%. It's free and bases it existence on donations from fellow members. I have met a lot of great people in AA. And without AA I would not be alcohol-free today. My main knock on AA is I don't feel like talking about drugs and alcohol all day long. I wasn't doing that when I was drinking and using so why do I want to talk about it all the time when I am not ? But maybe that is part of the attraction to AA. Most of the time talking about having a problem with alcohol or drugs is a no-no to all the "normal" people out there.

The conclusion to all this is I don't drink and use today. I feel much better. I am in a place that I never though possible one year ago.  I do miss all my old friends that I used to get drunk with. I am sure they are on the same bar stool. That doesn't mean I don't want a huge Pina Colada or the coldest Bud Light in the world. I do, but like anything in life I have to make choices. One choice leads me to confidence and spiritual growth and the other leads to short term highs with really low lows . If you would have asked me ten years ago I would have taken the highs and the lows. But now I just want more . Can you blame me?

You, Me and Obamacare

           I think the guy is a genius. He is looking out for the American people. What do you expect the President of the United States to do? That is his job. We live in the richest, most ethnically diverse county in the world. A county that has opened its doors to people trying to make a better life for themselves . So why shouldn't he work on a bill to provide Americans with stable private healthcare ? Of course if you can afford it you should purchase it. And if you have health insurance you should be able to keep it without worry of unwarranted rate hikes. Healthcare almost seems like something only for the rich or the corporately employed can have on a regular basis. Right now I pay about $180 a month for health and dental coverage. I could spend $180 dollars in a night out with my girl or during an afternoon at an expensive golf course. Sure both of those actions are much more fun than shelling out almost $200 bucks to have the privilege of seeing a doctor to diagnose my ailments.

But check this out, I broke my left leg almost nine months ago and the final bill was $295,000! Now I wondered two things during the time I was laid up in a hospital bed. Firstly, I was there for 8 days and was amazed that $295,000 of services were performed upon me. That seemed like a lot. But what my insurance paid to settle was almost half of the total bill. The reason is the doctors provide so many services that go unsettled or under contractual obligation that if they don't overbill they lose money. I never understood the system until I was thrown into it.   Secondly I wouldn't have known what to do if I didn't have health insurance. The cost would have been a financial disaster for me and my family. The time off work alone was almost unbearable since I am 100% commission.

So I welcome the Obamacare plan being passed by the Supreme Court. Jack up my taxes if I can be assured that my fellow American citizen can be protected to seek out healthcare to protect themselves and their families

My Season with the Sacramento Capitals Part 1

I used to be a rugby player. A pretty good one I think. Loose Head Prop was my position. Right at the front of the Scrum. Really it's the left side of the scrum but you get the picture. I had a lot of leg injuries when I played but when I was on the field I put in work . Prop is usually a defensive minded position but if you give me the ball I am running some offense! I played for Chico State University and we won a lot of games. We played in what's considered the toughest collegiate league in the nation. After I gave up playing the game I moved to the coaching side . After years of coaching Women, High School Boys, and even a Youth Team I took a shot at coaching a Men's Club. I took the assignment as a forwards coach for the Sacramento Capitals. The Capitals are the oldest team in the Sac Valley and until a few years ago they were also the top team in the region.  It seemed as the team had lost a lot of former players due to disagreements on the future direction of the team . That was no big deal to me because I don't really know any of the former players of the Capitals. And in all honesty if you leave your team in the middle of tough times, I don't really want your punk ass anyway. Go play for someone else and down them out with your personality.  Now when I took the job I still couldn't walk because of my broken left leg and was still on two crutches slowly moving to one, then to a cane, and finally able to walk a little. No biggie unless it's raining , muddy, or a day that ends in"Y".
When the season started I wasn't even prepared to coach let alone be the only forwards coach of the Capitals. That was my fault but the I love the game and when someone asks me to coach I can't say "No". I was expecting a solid forward pack ready to take on the season and hopefully make the playoffs. What I got was a solid group of men with little or no rugby experience. The ones that did have extensive experience were still reeling from the loss of most of their friends and former teammates to the Sacramento Lions or the Division 3 teams scattered around the Valley. The men that had little to no experience were looking for guidance and assistance in learning a violent and beautiful game. On top of that we also had many players from the Pacific Islands such as Tonga and Samoa in which English wasn't necessarily their first language . I was up for a real challenge.

The lucky part  during this season was I had the opportunity to coach again with my mentor and good buddy Jason Crother. When it comes to rugby he is Obi Wan. I wish I could say I was Luke Skywalker but let's just say I am a wannabee Jedi. He gauges the weather, the other teams playing style, field size, and time of day. I am the kind of coach that thinks possession is the name of the game and if the other team isn't handling the ball they can't score. Simple enough? What Crother brings to the table in preparedness I try to make up for in enthusiasm. Let's face it the game of rugby can either swallow you whole because of the sheer energy it takes to play or it can change your life for the better in many aspects . I am always one to joke and I believe if you are going to go into battle you might as well have a good laugh before you have to put your life on the line.
Little did I know that I was going to be in for the season of a lifetime with more drama than a daytime soap opera. But that's for next time..........Stay tuned.

It still trips me out

Do you like this view?

Just a couple of pins!

It blows my mind that I broke my leg on October 1st 2011. That would be about 6 months today on the dot. I can't do a lot of stuff I used to. I can't do a squat. I can' t jump off the porch and run to my car. I couldn't chase down a hoodlum stealing an old lady's purse, and if a mountain lion was chasing me I probably wouldn't make it to safety. I have put on a little weight but I was a fat ass before the accident so my clothes aren't complaining.
Some good things have come out of the whole experience. My girl Jamee has taken care of me through the whole process. She has been amazing. I am going to marry that little beezy one day and not because she made me breakfast everyday for three months but because she has made sacrifices for me that not just anybody would make. The only problem is she steals all my jokes. All of them!

Another great thing that has come out of the accident is it keeps my butt in my desk. I get to work at 7am and I leave after 6pm, everyday, Monday through Friday. I have had the opportunity to build a business with my mentor and good friend . He gave me a chance to be a part of it and I jumped on it . So when I see people posting about their workouts, or other physical accomplishments, I don't get upset. Cause I have things in my life that people couldn't even touch no matter how many pushups they do.

Ouch

Appreciate the Stress of the Life you Choose

I accept it. The stress that is. The stress of the life I choose. I chose to wake up at 5am everyday to go hustle in the mortgage business. I could be a barista or a janitor if I chose to be . Live a stress free existence . But that shit ain't for Cam Villa. But neither is speaking in the third person. I like the stress. Bring it all on me. I don't crack that easily. And if and when I do I will act accordingly. But do  really even know what stress really is? I don't have kids and I don't have a mortgage. I do still live paycheck to paycheck but it's getting better . Or maybe I am just getting smarter. I stopped drinking and doing hard drugs over 6 months ago and that has brought a mental clarity that has been amazing. It doesn't erase the stress but it allows me to cope. The more minutes of the day that I am myself , the more chances I get to get to succeed. And in this life it's about getting in as many swings as I can.

To One Day Walk Again

It's been tough. Not being able to walk. I mean we have all had bouts of a sprained ankle or a twisted knee and had to stay off of it for a few days. But it is tough to imagine having to be immobile for an extended period of time. That's me. I haven't walked in over a month and a half and I won't be able to walk for at least another  7 to 8 weeks . This broken leg is the worse. It's like having a permanent sign over my head that reads "Ask Me What Happened?" I am determined to be a functioning part of society again soon but I can only do so much.

It's depressing to think about . Living in a world where seeing steps make my palms sweaty and the thought of rain or ice bring on thoughts of immediate defeat. All I want to do is run up a flight of stairs or jump over the smallest of obstacles . But I am stuck holding these pair of crutches and forced to move at others pace. I go to my second doctors appointment tomorrow in hopes of good news. Maybe I am healing faster than usual or maybe I can start physical therapy sooner rather than later?

The best part about breaking my leg is everyday has been an improvement. I mean I literally wake up in a better mood every morning. My leg feels better and my relationship with life is improving daily. I am so thankful for the woman in my life because without her I would be spending days on the couch moping around . I am even back at work because "the bills" don't care if your leg is broken . Having this broken leg has made me appreciate the power of the human mind and the strength of my loved ones. I know i can be a real pain in the ass but that same drive is what is going to get me moving on both of these legs soon.

The only advice I can offer and I know it always sounds cliche but don't waste the things you have . And if you do waste them they weren't ever meant to be yours in the first place . I could complain all day about this but then I realize I will walk again and that is a lot more than others are working with.

Tupperware. Here one day and gone the next

It's sad to say but the second I put the Tupperware into the dishwasher their is a 95% chance that I will never ever be able to match the top to the bottom  . It just disappears. I don't know where, I don't know by whom, but it is gone . I used to have quite a collection of Tupperware. Gathered over the years from parties we have thrown  or leftovers delivered from Mom . I thought I had more control over my surrounding but when it comes to the plastice containers I am but a slave . I do not know what the future holds for me and Tupperware but I will keep attempting to hold on to it. My goal is to grow old with the original Tupperware I was raised on but I see that wish fading fast .

Back in the Studio

It has been a very long time or pretty much never since I have gotten back to the studio. But I have started to write and get down some songs for the new Vitamin P CD. It has been almost ten years since I have done a recording that I would be proud of handing off to a stranger . Ever since my band mate Christian Bartesch died in a car accident on Jun 14th 2003, Vitamin P went our separate ways, and I haven't had much of a drive to put music down. I will throw a flow down anytime and any place but as far as completing a music project I just wasn't feeling it. I got the vibe again when Ben Hazard came back from NYC but that was short lived because he had other projects going on. And I am sure my own addictions killed that friendship.  I finally had to sack up and attempt this creative process on my own. And that is the new journey.

Pete Cole, Cashel, and Colin Bodine

A young kid by the name of Colin Bodine has provided some drive for me to complete my CD. He is a former rugby player that I used to coach at Rio Americano High School many years ago and now he is a local musician that plays a lot of small gigs around Sacramento. Just watching his energy and free spirit has put a pretty good impression on this old rapper. Helping him get some of his music recorded and seeing him grow has made me realize what it's all about. Another person putting in a lot of time and effort into the project is Peter Cole of Sanctuary Studios. He has been true to his word and provided a lot of insight of the best way to make something I am proud to call my own .

Ultimately it is up to me and I know this now. Talking is only good when you have something to show for it . Otherwise it is just hot air. Look for some tracks in the next couple months and I hope everyone enjoys them .

Trying it Clean and Sober

     It has been 14 days since I made the choice to be clean and sober . It was a decision that needed to be made. I have spent so many years saying "Yes" to everything and that it has been a complete change to now say "No" .  I have been going pretty hard for the last 15 years. Alcohol, Weed , and Cocaine have been a major factor in my life for all those years. Some more than others but they all play the same role. They allow me to think that I'm God and in control of any and every situation .

     But life is funny that way. I am but a mere grain of sand in this enormous world. Just a small piece of this creative intelligence we call earth. God has played a huge roll in this ability for me to change . Now this isn't the God that used to scare me in Catholic Class . This is  "God" as I know it. Something much bigger and more powerful than  I can ever imagine . I will let him guide me. I am no longer afraid of the road but

    Now I am not a sucker by any means. I understand that anything good is worth putting in work and time . Anyone can say they are going to stop drinking. But it is the time after that matters. Living a good life and trying to be sober is my goal. I am excited for the future and completing the goals that I set forth. I used to just talk about what I was going . It was a waste but just having a fighting chance now is something i truly cherish.

If you know someone that may want the help of A.A. please click on the link and check it out. They are all over the world and you can most likely and ready to help anyone whom wants to stop drinking .

Central California Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous 

Keep that Pitcher Full. Not that kind of Pitcher

As of right now I feel overwhelmed, overworked , and under appreciated. I feel overwhelmed cause their are so many things I want to do in this world. I want to be a Rugby Coach, a Musician, and hopefully one day own my own Real Estate Company. What the fuck? It couldn't be any different . I sound like a 6 year old kid telling everyone how he wants to be a football player when I grow up . You know the way you talk before life gets in the way . Stupid talk.

I feel overworked because no matter what I do the end result always changes. Maybe it is the lack of leadership I currently possess at my job? In "real life" I could coach forty Ruggers or put together an hour long concert. But in my employment life I am watcher. I am not making any move without a proper review of the task. I have been burned too many times.  I am not trying to waste an extra life. I work with salesmen all day. And if you're not careful you can get sold on their ideas. Which when it comes to a salesmen it is usually them selling you on doing their work for them. Typical shit .

And lastly I feel under appreciated because of my wallet. Actually my wallet is feeling under appreciated because seldom does anything go into it without most of it coming back out .  Working in a 100% commission industry can only bring more stress into your life. My wallet is light and sad.

As of right now I feel like I am letting life step all over me. I have this notion in my head that the fuller my pitcher is than the less opportunity I have to fail . But in actuality having such  a full pitcher has allowed me to step away from more important projects in order to please everyone . But pleasing does not pay the rent . Unless you're a prostitute. Which is something I am trying to avoid at all cost. so I am going to either pour some water out of this pitcher or get a smaller container.  

Stand up for who?

 I am at a crossroad of career change and perpetuating doubt about what to do next?  I have so many great things in my little insignificant life and I should be very thankful for them all. I am.  But when it comes to work and employment I hit the wall. I have never had a job that pays over a hundred thousand and I have never been a part of a corporation that offers health, 401K, or any of the  employee perks companies offer. I consider myself very smart but how smart can one claim to be when they aren't even in control of their income? I mean really? I am going to make two thousand dollars this month. Seriously! After taxes it is going to be in the neighborhood of sixteen hundred dollars. Not much for an apparently intelligent individual. Dumb du-dumb dumb!

So what am I suppose to do? I could fake it to make? I could give up and continue to work for a very small paycheck? I could get off my ass and go find something else( I already have been doing this but this a blog people). Or I can become my own boss? Find something that I am talented enough to accomplish and hopefully bust my ass at trying to make it happen.

Life is funny that way. You need to keep scratching away just to make a dent. But I will keep scratching and clawing  because it has to be better than the job I got now .